Stuff happens.
What do the world’s religions have to say about this vexing existential problem?
Taoism: Stuff happens. Who gives a stuff?
Hinduism: This stuff has happened before and will happen again.
Buddhism: The stuff that happens doesn’t really.
Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?
Islam: The stuff that will happen will happen.
Judaism: Lord, why is this stuff happening to me?
Evangelicalism: Jesus, we praise you, we bless you, and we just really wanna ask "why this stuff isn’t happening to someone else"?
Catholicism: Stuff happens because you deserve it.
Open Theism: Stuff happens to God too.
Pentecostalism: Tuffs appensh.
Atheism: Stuff happens. Then you die. No more stuff.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke the stuff.
Hare Krishna: "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! . .
Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why stuff happens.
Quakers: Quietly praise God for the blessings that stuff brings.
Calvinists: Stuff won't happen to you if you work hard enough.
Christian Scientists: Agree that there is no stuff.
Televangelists: Stuff won't happen to you if you send in your love offering.
Any that were missed?
HT to Monastic Mumblings for this hilarious bit of... stuff.
5 comments:
Southern Baptist - Stuff happens, now pass the grits.
Coptics - Stuff happens, but only if it would happen again.
Zoroastrians- stuff happens, hide it- quick.
Mormons- stuff happens- let's send it to Utah and see if it really did - then, we'll send it on a mission.
Jesuits - stuff happens and then you have to punish those that claim they saw it.
Thanks for sharing.
bg
Agnostic - I'll take that stuff, and that stuff, but you can keep that stuff over there.
(A lame attempt but a try at least)
Baptist - We'll dunk you in water and wash that stuff away.
Mormon - Our stuff's a secret, like our underwear.
Materialism -- He who dies with the most stuff wins (Okay, LAME, but it WAS missing.)
Gnostic -- Stuff is evil.
Alternative Calvinist -- Some stuff is pre elected, other stuff isn't.
Fundamentalist -- Burn that stuff! Seperate yourself from the stuff!
Amish -- Stuff? What's Stuff?
So goes my lame attempt at humor. *sigh*
Okay, slightly off topic, but do you guys know what the Zen Master said to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
Ha ha ha haaaa!
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