What do the world’s religions have to say about this vexing existential problem?
Taoism: Stuff happens. Who gives a stuff?
Hinduism: This stuff has happened before and will happen again.
Buddhism: The stuff that happens doesn’t really.
Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?
Islam: The stuff that will happen will happen.
Judaism: Lord, why is this stuff happening to me?
Evangelicalism: Jesus, we praise you, we bless you, and we just really wanna ask "why this stuff isn’t happening to someone else"?
Catholicism: Stuff happens because you deserve it.
Open Theism: Stuff happens to God too.
Pentecostalism: Tuffs appensh.
Atheism: Stuff happens. Then you die. No more stuff.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke the stuff.
Hare Krishna: "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! "Stuff" happens! . .
Jehovah's Witnesses: Let us in and we'll tell you why stuff happens.
Quakers: Quietly praise God for the blessings that stuff brings.
Calvinists: Stuff won't happen to you if you work hard enough.
Christian Scientists: Agree that there is no stuff.
Televangelists: Stuff won't happen to you if you send in your love offering.
Any that were missed?
HT to Monastic Mumblings for this hilarious bit of... stuff.